This is me.
As a woman, especially a woman in her mid 30’s, I am barraged every day with messages that tell me that who I am is wrong. I’m too heavy and too short. I’m too pasty pale. My wrinkles need to be erased. My grey hair should be covered meticulously. My breasts should be perkier. And don’t I want this super awesome new product that does something super awesome that I just HAVE to have for my super awesome life?
If I allowed the messages that were thrown at me on a daily basis to sink into my head— I’d probably feel pretty cruddy about myself. If I let them sink in and then turned those same words into negative self talk, I’d have a lot of ground to be frustrated with myself. So it’s pretty easy to get how looking at this picture – which puts my body at a slightly awkward angle and shows off my full shape without any place to hide– could make me see everything that society wants me to think is wrong about myself.
The problem is that all these messages, if we hear them often enough and give them enough power, can turn into negative self-talk. And negative self-talk wears on you. It colors our lives and, in turn effects everything we do or touch.
Every day, I make a conscious decision to let the messages I tell myself be positive.
And so I offer this transparent experiment up for other women. When you look at a picture of yourself (or when you stand in the mirror) and when that negative voice starts to sing its seductive song … Talk over it. Turn off the negative and turn up the positive messages that celebrate you instead.
Does this mean you have to be totally satisfied with your body? Nah. Come on, get real. But, you only have one choice—demonize yourself or support yourself. I chose the second.
Your body tells a story. Your story creates a person. And that person deserves to be happy, just as they are.
If you have a few minutes, or are so inclined, I urge you to try this simple experiment. Find a photo of yourself. Address, head on, the things you could be scared of. Look them in the eye, stare them down and stand over them like you are a combination of Beyonce and Martha Stewart and every other powerful, ass-kicking woman you can think of. Stare at them… and then move on. Deal with it. Everyone ages. Everyone changes. Everyone (even the most “perfect” of people) has stuff about themselves they don’t love. Tell the negative to take a hike. Off a tall mountain. And jump.
My point is simple. Not easy, but simple. “They” can tell you whatever they want. But so can you. You can tell yourself whatever YOU want. Longer, louder and in a way more connected to your powerful brain than anything else can be.
In the war of self-acceptance— you can win. And it starts with a single choice.
Nichole Alex, Photographer
Brittany Sullivan, Hair and Makeup
Like my blue wrap top? It was Made to Measure to fit my exact shape by AbbeyPost! Disclosure- I work for AbbeyPost! But I don’t get comission if you shop. Just the joy of knowing you found something you like! You can find this shirt, and many other Made to Measure tops, dresses and styles for plus size, petite and everything in between here.